I went to the doctor today about my cervical rib a.k.a. "spare rib." I'm officially having surgery on Monday, December 15.
This is something that occurs in about 1 in 200 people. I need to have it removed because it can cause significant nerve damage and/or problems with my blood vessels. These problems could range from thrombosis (blood clot) to an aneurysm (dilation of the blood vessel). Needless to say, it needs to be taken care of now rather than later. The longer I wait, the greater the chance that this will cause bigger problems somewhere down the line.
I'm nervous, though. I've never had a major surgery done before. Then again, most people in their 20s haven't had any surgeries (other than wisdom teeth extractions), so I guess I'm in the majority there. I'm pretty sure it will go well, but I always worry about that which I cannot control.
After the doctor's appointment today -- which had the quickest in-and-out time of all my visits -- my mom and my grandma and I went to Cracker Barrel for lunch. I was talking about something at one time, and my mom looked at me and said, "You're rambling, are you nervous?" I just grinned and said, "Nooo...maybe." Obviously my nervousness shows. I just hope I don't start freaking out too much over the next two weeks. I have one more week of classes and then finals. I really want to get all As this semester, and I'm sure that worrying will distract me from that if I let it. That means that I can't let it get to me enough to distract me, which, with me, is easier said than done.
Just thinking about it makes me hurt. Of course, I'm mental that way. That also makes me worry about the scar. I have a scar on my right hand from a cyst that I had removed when I was maybe eight years old, and I can hardly stand to touch that part of my hand. I hope that I won't be that weird with this scar. If I am, I don't see how I'll be able to wear shirts or seat belts or necklaces. Right now, I just can't stand to have people touch the area where the bone protrudes because it feels really odd. I can't describe it really, but I know that it feels strange, almost tingly.
Anyway, I think I'm rambling again because of my nerves. Have a happy Thanksgiving!
Until next time...
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
November means December is next
I've come to realize that I'm probably the only person in the world -- or at least on this campus -- who is not welcoming the coming holiday season with open arms. I mean, finals are just a downer. But I do have other, bigger concerns. I wrote down most of what I wanted to say, but I think I'll add stuff here and there. I'll warn you now, though, this is probably going to be a long post.
Even though I'd like to be free from school for a few weeks, I really don't want December to be here. There are two reasons why this is. 1) I'm going to have surgery in December. A lovely bone extraction. For some reason, I got an extra bone when the genes split, and it's causing nerve and blood vessel problems, and could lead to more serious conditions, so I have to have it removed. It should be exciting lying in bed all day staring at the freshly painted walls in my room. Anyway...
2) December means I have only one semester left to spend with Adam. And while I know that May has to have its shinning moment like every other month, I'd rather stay here in November. It depresses me more than anything. I love him and I want to be able to spend more time with him than what we have left in this school year. Perhaps it's selfish, but I don't know what things will be like without him around all the time. I see him every day -- actually, I practically live with him -- and I'm afraid of having to do without that. Things are so good with us right now and I just want it to last as long as possible.
Yes, the time apart will probably be good for the both of us, but why now? Today he was talking to me and I called him crazy and he responded with, "Crazy about you." It made me really happy. Kind of indescribably happy.
I wish we were older and didn't have to spend at least one year apart because of school. Either that, or I wish I were graduating with him.
I want him to miss me, though. I want him to take all that time apart and realize what I mean to him. I know I love him. I know he loves me. I want to keep that going strong.
I don't even know how he feels about the coming separation, though. He talks about it with such ease to everyone else, but I wonder if that is masking something that he isn't telling. Should I ask him about it? I think if I did, it may dampen the good vibes we've had.
I really wish he'd give me what I want: a confession of his love and a promise that it won't end. Somehow I doubt I'll ever get that from him. But I can keep dreaming.
And maybe I am being a bit melodramatic, but I can't help it. I get into that hopeless romantic mood whenever I write about it. Hell, I do that even when I'm just thinking about it. I thrive on that wishful thinking.
Anyway, I'm sure I've probably bored any readers to tears by now, so I'll end this little post.
Until next time...
Even though I'd like to be free from school for a few weeks, I really don't want December to be here. There are two reasons why this is. 1) I'm going to have surgery in December. A lovely bone extraction. For some reason, I got an extra bone when the genes split, and it's causing nerve and blood vessel problems, and could lead to more serious conditions, so I have to have it removed. It should be exciting lying in bed all day staring at the freshly painted walls in my room. Anyway...
2) December means I have only one semester left to spend with Adam. And while I know that May has to have its shinning moment like every other month, I'd rather stay here in November. It depresses me more than anything. I love him and I want to be able to spend more time with him than what we have left in this school year. Perhaps it's selfish, but I don't know what things will be like without him around all the time. I see him every day -- actually, I practically live with him -- and I'm afraid of having to do without that. Things are so good with us right now and I just want it to last as long as possible.
Yes, the time apart will probably be good for the both of us, but why now? Today he was talking to me and I called him crazy and he responded with, "Crazy about you." It made me really happy. Kind of indescribably happy.
I wish we were older and didn't have to spend at least one year apart because of school. Either that, or I wish I were graduating with him.
I want him to miss me, though. I want him to take all that time apart and realize what I mean to him. I know I love him. I know he loves me. I want to keep that going strong.
I don't even know how he feels about the coming separation, though. He talks about it with such ease to everyone else, but I wonder if that is masking something that he isn't telling. Should I ask him about it? I think if I did, it may dampen the good vibes we've had.
I really wish he'd give me what I want: a confession of his love and a promise that it won't end. Somehow I doubt I'll ever get that from him. But I can keep dreaming.
And maybe I am being a bit melodramatic, but I can't help it. I get into that hopeless romantic mood whenever I write about it. Hell, I do that even when I'm just thinking about it. I thrive on that wishful thinking.
Anyway, I'm sure I've probably bored any readers to tears by now, so I'll end this little post.
Until next time...
Monday, November 10, 2008
Slipping
I don't know why, but the past few days, maybe weeks, I've been feeling kind of depressed. I have nothing to be depressed about, really; I'm doing well in school, I have my friends, I have a boyfriend and my awesome family. I don't know why, but I've been feeling tired, and really rather irritable. Granted, last week was "the week" for all that moodiness and whatnot, but that is generally gone by now.
Seriously, everything is bugging the shit out of me right now. There are many moments throughout the day where I just want to punch people because of some tiny thing that has pissed me off. I have surprised myself recently with the rage I feel.
I have argued more with my boyfriend and I have just flat out told him "no" on some things, but that still doesn't work for some reason. I would like for him to do things that I want to do, for once. Yes, we go out to eat when I want to, but everything else is what he wants to do and when he wants to do it. He bought this big ass TV, and I got him a video game for his birthday, and the first thing he does when he gets the TV in his room is invite his friend over and they play for hours. I wanted some attention; just a little attention, but he only wanted to play his game and go to sleep. Is it too much to ask for just a wee bit of attention? I barely walked in the door and his friend was over and they were playing that stupid game. If I'd known his friend was going to be there, I would not have gone over there until he'd left. Blah.
Anyway...I think I've done enough complaining on here. It helps to let some things out.
Until next time...
Seriously, everything is bugging the shit out of me right now. There are many moments throughout the day where I just want to punch people because of some tiny thing that has pissed me off. I have surprised myself recently with the rage I feel.
I have argued more with my boyfriend and I have just flat out told him "no" on some things, but that still doesn't work for some reason. I would like for him to do things that I want to do, for once. Yes, we go out to eat when I want to, but everything else is what he wants to do and when he wants to do it. He bought this big ass TV, and I got him a video game for his birthday, and the first thing he does when he gets the TV in his room is invite his friend over and they play for hours. I wanted some attention; just a little attention, but he only wanted to play his game and go to sleep. Is it too much to ask for just a wee bit of attention? I barely walked in the door and his friend was over and they were playing that stupid game. If I'd known his friend was going to be there, I would not have gone over there until he'd left. Blah.
Anyway...I think I've done enough complaining on here. It helps to let some things out.
Until next time...
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Spring 2009 Class Schedule
I already posted this as a note on Facebook, but here it is again:
Okay, I had a schedule already planned out and I thought it would all work out because I'm the first of the juniors to register. I even got up at 5am to register. Only seniors have been able to register for the spring so far. All of them must have to take SPAN 102, and all of them must hate Jamie Eller as much as I do, because her classes are the only classes left open. Damn. I guess I'll just wait another semester to take that Spanish class again. I am NOT taking Jamie Eller's class again. I hated it. And I failed it. Blegh!
Anyway...this is how my schedule ended up looking:
MWF 9:10-10:05am: JOUR 300 (Research in Ad & PR) MMTH 236
MW 12:40-1:35pm: MUS 340 (Women's Chorus) FAC 181
MW 1:50-3:10pm: MGT 305 (Critical Thinking in Mgt) GH 238
TR 9:35-10:55am: ENG 304 (English Language) CH 103
TR 11:10a-12:30pm: ENG 306 (Business Writing) CH 126
TR 12:45-2:05pm: ENG 391 (Survey of American Lit I) CH 001
Anyone else like how smart I am to stay in Cherry Hall all day on TR? It's amazing, I know. I'm still done at 10am on Fridays. I think I like this schedule. I just have to be able to get up that early every morning, which really shouldn't be a big problem since I already get up to be in Diddle at 8:30am most days right now. Yay! I'm done with registration.
Alright. I'm done here.
Until next time...
Okay, I had a schedule already planned out and I thought it would all work out because I'm the first of the juniors to register. I even got up at 5am to register. Only seniors have been able to register for the spring so far. All of them must have to take SPAN 102, and all of them must hate Jamie Eller as much as I do, because her classes are the only classes left open. Damn. I guess I'll just wait another semester to take that Spanish class again. I am NOT taking Jamie Eller's class again. I hated it. And I failed it. Blegh!
Anyway...this is how my schedule ended up looking:
MWF 9:10-10:05am: JOUR 300 (Research in Ad & PR) MMTH 236
MW 12:40-1:35pm: MUS 340 (Women's Chorus) FAC 181
MW 1:50-3:10pm: MGT 305 (Critical Thinking in Mgt) GH 238
TR 9:35-10:55am: ENG 304 (English Language) CH 103
TR 11:10a-12:30pm: ENG 306 (Business Writing) CH 126
TR 12:45-2:05pm: ENG 391 (Survey of American Lit I) CH 001
Anyone else like how smart I am to stay in Cherry Hall all day on TR? It's amazing, I know. I'm still done at 10am on Fridays. I think I like this schedule. I just have to be able to get up that early every morning, which really shouldn't be a big problem since I already get up to be in Diddle at 8:30am most days right now. Yay! I'm done with registration.
Alright. I'm done here.
Until next time...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Election Day
It's Election Day 2008, and while I already voted about three or four weeks ago, I'm anxious to know the results of this year's election. Everyone is predicting that Obama will win, and I sure as hell hope that he does win. If McCain somehow wins, there is something seriously wrong with our electoral process.
I'm tired of being under Republicans, of having to fight senseless wars, of having no money and worrying whether or not my bank will go under. Actually, my bank (National City) was about to go under and was bought by PNC. I'm tired of "stimulus checks" that didn't really stimulate anything! It was just extra money to pay for the gas which cost an arm and a leg at one point. (And notice how the prices have gone down right around Election Day. I'm sure they'll climb right back to $3 tomorrow.) And that stimulus money helped to pay bills that had been piling up because while my dad still has his job at Ford (thank god!) he doesn't work as many hours as he used to because of all the cut backs. Without that extra bit of money, it's been hard to pay bills and whatnot. And I'm in school...on loans. So I really hope that Obama wins and can change everything that Bush fucked up. I know it won't happen overnight, but in time, I hope this country realizes how stupid it was to put Bush in office in the first place...and then elect him for a second term. And I really hope they understand that McCain and that Palin animal would have been Bush all over again!
I hate politics, and yet I care. I'm a walking paradox.
Anyway...I think I should go now. Until next time...
I'm tired of being under Republicans, of having to fight senseless wars, of having no money and worrying whether or not my bank will go under. Actually, my bank (National City) was about to go under and was bought by PNC. I'm tired of "stimulus checks" that didn't really stimulate anything! It was just extra money to pay for the gas which cost an arm and a leg at one point. (And notice how the prices have gone down right around Election Day. I'm sure they'll climb right back to $3 tomorrow.) And that stimulus money helped to pay bills that had been piling up because while my dad still has his job at Ford (thank god!) he doesn't work as many hours as he used to because of all the cut backs. Without that extra bit of money, it's been hard to pay bills and whatnot. And I'm in school...on loans. So I really hope that Obama wins and can change everything that Bush fucked up. I know it won't happen overnight, but in time, I hope this country realizes how stupid it was to put Bush in office in the first place...and then elect him for a second term. And I really hope they understand that McCain and that Palin animal would have been Bush all over again!
I hate politics, and yet I care. I'm a walking paradox.
Anyway...I think I should go now. Until next time...
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